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Quote #405 posted by jimmiejaz From IRC 2.75 / 10 (12 votes) Add to favorites
<jimmiejaz> I made 404 on geekleak!
<Einsamkeit> lol
<jimmiejaz>http://geekleak.com/index.php?act=view&quoteid=404


Quote #679 posted by BenPZC From IRC 7.80 / 10 (10 votes) Add to favorites
<DrBill> You know, rap is an awesome word...
<DrBill> You can add a C to the beginning of it to get what it is, or an E to the end to get what it does to your brain.


Quote #264 posted by Hart From IRC 6.00 / 10 (10 votes) Add to favorites
<RickoniX> Unless in my absence the channel got all full and talkative, and a bunch of people are going to come in and leave as soon as they see me
<RickoniX> In which case I'll be made
<RickoniX> *mad
<Hart> No they where all waiting for you to come back to go back to talking
<Hart> Been a +m town apprently and no ones got the +v
* Hart waits for quote 251
<RickoniX> I hate you Hart, because I know I'm going to end up using that in real life
<RickoniX> I can see it now, I'll walk into a room, noone will talk, then I'll just say, "Hey, it looks like this is a +m town and noones got a +v"
<Hart> Yay, one more person that hates me
<Hart> My life is now complete
<RickoniX> Sometimes I hate being a geek


Quote #1443 posted by stickler From IRC 1.00 / 10 (2 votes) Add to favorites
<Tavy> I keep the head short.


Quote #797 posted by jimmiejaz From IRC 6.50 / 10 (4 votes) Add to favorites
<+coldacid> i just had a disturbing image
<+AJK> ?
<+coldacid> hordes of lawyers dressed in jaffa armour
<+coldacid> being lead by riaa and mpaa chieftains
<+coldacid> who were quite obviously goa'uld


Quote #325 posted by Izenblaze From IRC 5.92 / 10 (12 votes) Add to favorites
<Izenblaze> bastard ><
<Aniar> my parents were married. I was just "unexpected"
<Izenblaze> LMAO
<Aniar> ^^ PC term for "mistake"
<savvy_> oh god
<savvy_> my brother still to this day says "you were a mistake"
<savvy_> when he gets angry at me
<Izenblaze> I should tell that to my brothers and see what they say
<Izenblaze> hell my parents DID want a boy and a girl .. they got the boy .. then in place of a girl they got two boys :D
<savvy_> of course he was the planned one and turned out bad so i have to rub that in his face
<saradin> at least you weren't fucked by mIRC and bearing its children
<Aniar> sav: but did your Mother tell you, when you were 16: "I remember when I told your father I was pregnent with you, and the first thing he said was, 'what?! You mean I've been wearing these goddamn things for a month, and didn't have to?>!!!'"
<Izenblaze> bwahhahahahahaaaa
<savvy_> hahahahahaa
<savvy_> roflmao


Quote #1042 posted by kelly From People 5.00 / 10 (4 votes) Add to favorites
Some of the finest double entendres on British TV & Radio - some old and some new and all very funny!

MICHAEL Buerk watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: "They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts."

Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."

MIKE Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."

JACK Burnicle was talking about Colin Edward's tyre choice on World Superbike racing: "Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now."

Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith Keppel on This Morning: "She was practising fastest finger first by herself in bed last night."

WINNING Post's Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's formidable lead: "Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he sees."

ROSS King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond: "Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg."

DURING the 1989 British Masters golf tournament, commentator Richie Benaud observed: "Notices are appearing at courses telling golfers not to lick their balls on the green."

CRICKETER Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham v Lancashire match, inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe: "With his lovely soft hands he just tossed it off."

CLAIR Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: "There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."

JAMES Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked: "What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"

STEVE Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69."

THE new stand at Doncaster race course took Brough Scott's breath away..."My word," he said. "Look at that magnificent erection."

WILLIE Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big race when he said: "They usually have four or five dreams a night about coming from different positions."

STEVE Leonard, talking about vegetation on Vets in the Wild, told Trude: "There's something big growing between my legs."

CARENZA Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on Time Team Live said:"You'd eat beaver if you could get it."

A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

USPGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them.... Oh my god!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!"

David Coleman at the Montreal Olympics - "And there goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class."

Metro Radio - "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."

Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew."

Ted Walsh- Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother."

New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him."

Pat Glenn- Weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"

Brian Johnston decribing a Test Match between England and the West Indies "The bowler's Holding (Michael); the batsman's Willey (Peter)."


Quote #841 posted by pillowcase From IRC 7.86 / 10 (7 votes) Add to favorites
[2:48pm] pillowcase_: shut your pie hole
[2:49pm] jimmiejaz: :O
[2:50pm] jimmiejaz: :|


Quote #425 posted by Magi_Hero From IRC 6.27 / 10 (11 votes) Add to favorites
Bot(7:40:07): So do u think george bush will be relelected?
Atma(7:40:21): no
Bot(7:40:30): sometimes.
Atma(7:40:32): I don't want him reerected anyway
Atma(7:40:33): er
Atma(7:40:34): elect
Bot(7:40:42): Thats nice.


Quote #553 posted by typobox43 From IRC 4.86 / 10 (7 votes) Add to favorites
<Ib> kujoe!
<Ib> hows the h0t gaypron working for you?
<kujoe> LOL
<kujoe> haven't installed it yet
<kujoe> still trying to figure out why this damn thing wont beep


Quote #1364 posted by jimmiejaz From IRC 8.00 / 10 (3 votes) Add to favorites
< phlux> i just won a 2 week membership with some world health gym
< fr0st> lol
< phlux> me and a friend!
< phlux> now i have to find a friend


Quote #790 posted by OEP From IM Convos 4.83 / 10 (6 votes) Add to favorites
Alan: today when i was taking a shit, my cat tried to jump on my lap and he scratched my balls
Alan: just thought i'd tell you that
Paul: thanks


Quote #1299 posted by jimmiejaz From IRC 7.67 / 10 (3 votes) Add to favorites
< unblessedsoul> so dont and /quit are on a boat, don't leaves, guess whos left
< Tavy> /quit
< Tavy> STFUX.
-!- unblessedsoul [unblesseds@c.hsd1.mi.comcast.net] has quit [Quit: Leaving]
-!- unblessedsoul [unblesseds@c.hsd1.mi.comcast.net] has joined #xchat
< unblessedsoul> /quit
< unblessedsoul> ah you used say
< unblessedsoul> you clever bastard
< Tavy> You get pwnt.


Quote #490 posted by io_venus From IRC 7.53 / 10 (15 votes) Add to favorites
<io> < msViolet> when i'm in public with ppl around me, i usually stick in the vibrator
<io> uhh
<io> when did you say that.
<msViolet> io, i was talking about my CELL PHONE
<io> hahahahaha
<msViolet> and putting it on vibrator mode
<msViolet> so that it didn't disturb anyone
<msViolet> jj and his SICK SICK MIND


Quote #427 posted by jimmiejaz From IRC 6.73 / 10 (11 votes) Add to favorites
--> tron (~user@ip68-1-50-252.pn.at.cox.net) has joined #hackcanada
<urinetrouble> oh. it's tron.
<urinetrouble> can you shoot lasers out of your eyes?
<tron> get a real handle kid
<urinetrouble> haha
<jedkiwi> lol
<fr0st> lol
<urinetrouble> your's is based off some fucking disney flick, you silly goose
<tron> off an elite movie
<urinetrouble> disney.
<tron> hey disney rules! i especially like aladdin because it reminds me that someday i will be able to travel the world on a flying carpet.
<tron> :`( I'm a lonely old man


Quote #693 posted by Azhrarn From IRC 4.50 / 10 (4 votes) Add to favorites
Zack: when using a singleton... how can I bless it without returning first... grrrrhere's my code
Zack: my $singleton;
Zack: sub init {
Zack: }
Zack: sub _init {
Azhrarn: NO PASTE
Zack: return $singleton;
*** Mode change "-v Zack" for channel #perl by Somni.
*** Zack has left #perl.
*** klamer has joined #perl.
*** Mode change "+v klamer" for channel #perl by Roderick.
*** Zack has joined #perl.
Azhrarn: purl, tell Zack about rejoiner
*** Mode change "+v Zack" for channel #perl by Somni.
Zack: lol
Zack: k i'll type
Zack: my $singleton;
*** Batshua has joined #perl.
*** Mode change "+v Batshua" for channel #perl by Roderick.
Zack: sub init {
Somni: goddammit
Zack: my($class) = shift;
*** Mode change "-v Zack" for channel #perl by Somni.


Quote #123 posted by Dan From IRC Quit Messages 7.53 / 10 (15 votes) Add to favorites
[22:57:41] *** Signoff: s1nn3r ([CS] Quit: WinBot: Claiming that your operating system is the best in the world because more people use it is like saying McDonalds makes the best food in the world.)


Quote #456 posted by KStange From IRC 5.90 / 10 (10 votes) Add to favorites
23:46 < epsilon> one number is 3 times another number, and their sum is -10.
what is the lesser of the two numbers?
23:46 < imgod2u> -2...
23:46 < imgod2u> no wait
23:47 < imgod2u> -2.5
23:47 < epsilon> -7.5
23:47 < epsilon> :P
23:48 < imgod2u> damn you negative sign!
23:48 < epsilon> heh!
23:48 < epsilon> tricky
23:48 < imgod2u> that sounds like an SAT question
23:48 < epsilon> it was and i missed it
23:48 < epsilon> i put --2.5
23:48 < epsilon> -2.5
23:49 < epsilon> so simple yet i missed it
23:49 < imgod2u> sounds like something I would do
23:49 < epsilon> you did! :)
23:50 < imgod2u> oh shut up, I wasn't taking a test


Quote #377 posted by Azhrarn From IRC 7.64 / 10 (22 votes) Add to favorites
[08:23] *** Brain (brain@NetAdmin.chatspike.net) has joined channel #chatspike
[08:23] *** Mode change "+oa Brain Brain" for channel #chatspike by ChanServ
[08:23] <@Brain> there
[08:23] <@Brain> got it how i want it now
[08:23] <+BlindFool> lol
[08:24] <+BlindFool> Only you make such a hash of re-joining irc :p
-> /os raw svsnick Brain Guest93728391273 :0
[08:28] *** Brain is now known as Guest93728391273
[08:34] *** Guest93728391273 is now known as Brain
-> /os raw svsnick Brain Guest237728367362 :0
[08:36] *** Brain is now known as Guest237728367362
[08:36] <@Guest237728367362> ARGH
[08:36] <@Guest237728367362> WTF
[08:36] <+BlindFool> ROFL
[08:36] <@Guest237728367362> i identified damnit
[08:36] <@Guest237728367362> someones playing with me
[08:36] *** Guest237728367362 is now known as Brain
[08:36] * Azhrarn snickers


Quote #327 posted by syberghost From IRC 6.55 / 10 (11 votes) Add to favorites
<Smith> wtfs cameos?
--- Smith is now known as RojSmith
<syberghost> RojSmith is now known as doesn't_own_a_dictionary
--- RojSmith is now known as doesnt_own_a_dic



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